Tour Day 10 – DISNEY WORLD

Well friends, it’s the day after yesterday, which is when we went to Disney. I’m still tired, but I’m determined to knock out both posts today.

Here’s what is important for you to know; the thing that was really on everyone’s mind yesterday: we all baked for 13 hours. Low and slow, KC style. The heat was broken up by a pretty serious rain mid-afternoon, but the blistering heat was just replaced by humidity, and more humidity, and more, more, and more humidity.

But, don’t worry, everyone had a blast regardless.  Bemo put the fear of God in them before we went in that if he found any of them rolling around in groups of less than four, or left the park, very bad things were going. Some of you may remember the Great Cedar Point lake adventure of 2021. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, ask when we get home (Our very own president was one of the perpetrators – and so was my own son, sheesh).  Let’s just say that it was an error so egregious it is still only referenced in hushed tones. But none of that today, everyone was awesome.

I’ll let the kids tell you their stories, but here’s mine: I walked around alone most of the day. Don’t feel bad, that is what I wanted to do. If I wanted to hang out with people there was plenty of opportunity. Instead, I took advantage of my spouse having to be home to bring home the bacon, and have a Joseph pamper day. Because I’m a real man.

Anyway, later in the day I wanted to get out of the sun for a little while so I walked in this building hoping to find some silly show that lasted half an hour and was dark and cool.  I thought I had found it when I stumbled onto a sign that said “Backstage with Mickey the Magician”. Who doesn’t want to see magic at Disney, right? So, I get in line, already feeling great that I had found a line that was a 30-minute wait in the A/C. As the line continued to fill up I noticed something a little odd - there was basically nobody in line with me that didn’t have a stroller; the oldest child may have a 6-year-old. I just chalked it up to it being a low-thrill family-friendly experience.

Then I got to the front of the line, and I noticed the second oddity about this ride, they were only letting in small amounts of people in at a time.  A lady working a plush rope diligently counted out around 15 people to come into the room at a time. Again, I thought, wow this might be really cool; A small intimate magic show with the mouse himself.  Not really my thing, but when in Rome, right?  But it dawned on me that there is no way this is right. Some of these babies were screaming their heads off. Their parents did not care about a small intimate magic show. That’s when I started to feel a little weird.

When I got close to the rope the lady started asking people how many people were in their party. A young mom of twenty-something said, “four”. The man in front of me with his young son said, “Two”. She then asks me how many I had in my party (I was obviously by myself, but I don’t think she wanted to believe it).

I said, “One”.

She repeated, “One?” and she just looked at me for the briefest second in a way I’ve never seen a cast member look at a guest. But, she opened the rope and in I went.

I walked in this small room that was inhabited by nothing but Mickey, another dude directing everyone and a few magic props strewn about. This was nothing but getting pictures with Mickey.

I heard the door shut behind me and I turned to leave, but there was no doorknob. I was stuck in a room with a bunch of young families, babies, a mouse, and this other cast member. I felt like the biggest creepo on earth as I just waited to get my picture taken with Mickey. I watched the line dwindle as moms tried to coach little johnny to look at the camera. As the last family finished their pictures I realized I was going to be left in the room alone with this cartoon character and the other guy.

Three grown men in a room alone on a ride for babies. And that is exactly what happened. The cast member had kind of awkwardly glanced at me a few times before, but the moment came where I had to make a critical decision: either embrace it and unironically be excited about getting my picture taken with Mickey, or try and defend my manhood by explaining why I was there. Defend I did!

“Hey man, look, I was just trying to get some A/C.”

But, if you’ve ever been to Disney you know that they just simply don’t break character. They guy just said, “Well, why don’t you just give Mickey a hug then.”

And so, I proceeded to awkwardly hug a grown man in a mouse costume as another grown man watched.

My relationship with Mickey is forever altered.

Good night everybody!